On This Day...

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

My grandfather died this morning. Around 9:15am. This weekend was not so good. My family had gone out of town for Thanksgiving. I had to drive them six hours away on Thanksgiving morning, so I was alone for Thanksgiving. I had to drive 6 hours back the same day, so my Thanksgiving dinner was a hot dog and some cookies. On Saturday I went to the nursing home where my grandfather was to visit, so he would not be alone the whole weekend. He was admitted in September. I think it was hard for him to give up his independence. What he had left.

It begins a little furthur back than that. He first had a mini stoke in the spring, around March or April, was in the hospital and was in the nuring home for about 3 months. He was discharged to home and he needed assisted living as he was left handed and his left side was affected by the mini- stroke. He was the grandfather who lived the legacy of sharpness. He was really estranged from our family until he got ill in the spring.

He left my grandmother with four children when they were still very young, moved to another state and eventually remarried. I did not grow up knowing him at all. Growing up, we just knew we had an estranged grandfather who lived about three states away. He retired back to my howe town when I was a little girl...most likely in 5th grade or so. He lived about 10 minutes away from my mothers house, but still there was very limited contact. We saw him for deaths and funerals of other family memebrs. He had fully embraced the family of his new wife of many , many years. He raised her kids as his own and basically abandoned his four kids by my grandmother.

Funny how things do come back around. When he became ill, all those children and grandchilden by the family he raised, had nothing to do with him. Who did he call? His estranged daughter, my mom, and me. At first we were all taken aback, my mom in particular. There was bad blood going on there. She was his only living biological relative in the area, so we were stuck in a sense. When my mom got the call that he was ill, what could she do? A frail, elderly, mean father who never even raised her or looked back? She decided to do what she could.

She took over his finances, became power of attorney, handled all of his medical situations, got him into the nursing home. All those things. Consequently, I got involved. I was the granddaughter. If mom was tired, I had to step in. When he got dicharged to home for most of the summer, we had to cook for him three times a day. He could not longer cook. He had diabetes. Since his left hand was affected and he was left handed, he could not longer give himself shots. So, it was my job to do his insulin daily and get needles pre-filled if I had to work late. We took care of him all summer. We did have some home health nurses come in and help with bathing and excercises on his left side. We took in his dog. We had to do everything fo him.

By August, we knew that he needed to go back into the home. One he needed more assistance that we could provide (at night we were afraid as he was just about blind due to loss of vision due to diabetes--we had set him up with the home monitoring company. He wore a pendant that he could use at night if he needed help) and my mother was about to collapse from fixing meals three times a day. I was not always able to help. I work full time and am the only adult driver for three elderly people, my mom, dad and grandfather. I was run ragged as well with driving to and from, to and from.

We were able to get him back in the home in September and things were going along. He attended daily excersied and physical therapy. He was mobile using a walker and a wheelchair. So on saturday I got there about 5 or so and stayed about an hour and a half. He was in bed when I got there. The nurse said that his sugar had dropped very low and he fell trying to get from his wheelchair to his walker. They got his sugar semi-regulated before I got there. He was very talkative and was okay except for being in bed.

By 7:30 I got a call that he was tranported to the hospital. I drove the 20 minutes to the hospital and ended up staying until 2am until they could get him into a room. He wan not moving any limbs and his speak was slurred. He could speak a little, but it was very hard to understand him. He did not good at all. It was apparent that he had had another stoke that affected his whole body. I had been on the phone on and off all night with my mother who was still away for Thanskgiving. I was supposed to drive to pick up my parents on sunday. Yet, I had had no sleep. I got to bed by 3am, got some sleep and got up to get my parents.

Mom did not sleep at all the night before. The hospital wanted to know if he had a living will. He did, but I did not have access to it and was not sure of the details. I told the hospital to do everything to save him if something happened until I could get my motehr back into town and she could take over. I knew that he did not want to be hooked up to any machines, but that was not happening with me alone telling the hospital that. I got my parents and we got back to town around 7:30 last night.

We unloaded the car, sat down for five minutes and I told her to get her purse, we were going to that hospital right now. We did and thank goodness we did. Mom at first did not want to go. She was exhautsed and said she would call. I told her he did not look good and we needed to go now. She got her purse. We stayed for about an hour and he did rally some when he saw her. I know he was waiting for her. He had become so dependent upon her in the last year. We all had a chance to see him last night and talk to him before he passed away this morning.

Mom said that she got the call this morning and when she got to the hospital, the nurse told her that his heart began to beat slower and slower until it just stopped. His body was still warm when she got there, so she said her goodbyes and gave him a hug. I was at work and she did not tel me until around 4:30 today. I was still at work and just called to see how he was. That was when I got the news.

This was a man I did not really know. I just had to take care of him for the last year. I was just getting to know him. He was someone I had always heard bad things about for most of my life. Yet, I feel so bad now that he has passed away. I spent an hour crying in the office parking lot before I could drive home. I still feel awful. I don't know quite how to feel.

Russell Simmons the "Yogi!"

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

Who knew? Who knew that Russell Simmons did yoga? I just happened to be up late on night this week and was flipping thru the channels and foun dhim doing an infomercial. I was shocked. He is a yogi! Rapper turned yogi!

I was intrigued so I did watch some of it. The program looks pretty good.

Russell Simmons the co-founder of DEF JAM Records and founder and CEO of PHAT FASHIONS, brought hip-hop culture into American mainstream, and now he does the same thing for yoga. Russell Simmons has been practicing yoga for over a decade, and now he wants to share this spiritual and physical discipline with you through YOGA LIVE™. His exclusive YOGA LIVE™ system will help make over your mind and your body.

I have a pilates tape by Denise Austin that is pretty good and a yoga tape by someone else. I cannot recall who without getting out all the tapes to find that tape.

I do love all my tapes and DVD's by Billy Banks . I have all of his stuff from the very beginning. All the vhs tapes from the first and then Tae-Bo II on the dvd. He is good! Try him out. Out of all the tapes and dvd's I have, I like him the best with Denise Austin 2nd. I have most of her stuff too...at least 8 of her tapes.

Inverted Christmas Tree!

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

What the hell were they thinking?
Would you buy this?

The tradition of hanging an upside-down tree dates back to the Middle Ages in Northern Germany, where they'd been hanging fir trees by the stump for many years.
This is not christmas for me! And they are expensive.
I have priced these and most are over $500.

Odd Sunday

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

Sunday began just like any other Sunday. I had some friends come in from out of town on Saturday so I had overnight company... a friend from high school and her teen daughter. We went to dinner Saturday night and they planned to go to church with me. We got up and went to church. "B" went with me to adult sunday school and her daughter "A" went to youth sundeay school. After that we went to service. I am presbyterian. My friend is catholic but has been attending a presbyterian church in her area on and off. She lives about 3 hours away.

Normally , every Sunday after church the entire congretation is invited to go to the fellowhip hall for fellowship. We have cake, cookies, punch.. you know. Everyone stays long enough to have a little refreshment, talk and socialize for a few minutes and off we go. Well, the four of u swer having cake and talking when all of a sudden a little boy who is autistic or retarded..he has some sort of mental handicap, came into the room from the playground area. He is about 10 or 11. Normally one of his parents is with 2 steps of him at all times. This time he came barrelling in alone and he looked wild eyed.

He approached the cake table and just jammed his handright into the side of the chocolate cake. I looked around. No parents and noone really noticed what he had done. Most were standing in groups of 3-4 talking. He was right next to us so there was no way we could miss him. His hand went up. I thought he was going to jam the cake to his own mouth.

Instead he turned around and howled and his hand went up over his head, very spastically and then all of a sudden he took two steps toward my friends daughter, "A", and smashed the cake into her forehead. We--just kind of froze in shock, eyes wide open. Time seemed to stop for a few seconds. There was "A" with a large piece of chocolate cake glued to her forehead by the icing. It did not fall off. Then all of a sudden his mother appeared out of nowhere and grabbed him. He yowled loudly and fell on the floor. His mother literally dragged him out to the playground area again.

"A" and "B" tended to the cake. "A" pried the cake off and put it put it on a paper plate. She has long blond hair. Luckily her bangs were pulled back. She has frosting in the hair near her hairline. I had been drinking a glass of apple juice. "B" used my apple juice like water to clean the chocolate frosting off "A"'s face. "A" who is 14 took it all in stride. I apologized, told "A" and "B" that he was disabled. They said it was okay. Next thing I saw the father of the handicapped boy run outside. They were both out there with him.

A few minutes later mom came in and apologized profusely to all of us. She said she had no idea he would do anything like that. Well that is where I have a problem. If you know your child is autistic or handicapped and prone to acting out he can do any crazy thing at any time. He should not be left alone. Supposed he had a fork or a sharp knife instead of a piece of chocloate cake? He could have really hurt of killed someone being out of control with no supervision. Mom said that they most likely will not bring him back to fellowship seeing how that happened. Other members of the congregation then began to come over and hoped that my friends would visit the church again. "B" and "A" both said they would. I felt really bad. Who would think that crazy, embarassing thing...getting smashed in the face with a piece of chocloate cake..would happen at church. At Church!

Well, we got through that, went to lunch and had a great time. They left after lunch and I was alone. Resting. I was so very tired from staying out with my friends at dinner on saturday night. I wanted nothing more than to take a nap. I got home and was just about to go to sleep when the phone rang. Who was this disturbing me? I started not to answer.

"Molly is dead." That is what I heard on the other end of the phone. Molly was dead. I was flabbergasted. Molly was my grandfathers dog. My grandfather was just admitted to a nursing home for the rest of his life last month, so there have been some major family adjustments going on. He had a dog that we my mother took in to keep and take care of. Molly was an outside door when she was with my grandfather. He is 92, not very active, almost blind so that dog did not get the best of care. She was outside all the time, no shelter from the rain, dog food getting all wet when it did rain.. bad. We did not know he had a dog. He was estranged from us. The Legacy of Sharpness will refresh your memory about him.

We took in his dog 8 months ago to get her out of that bad siutation and took her to the vet for the first time.. and it was determined that she had a bad case of heart worms. My mother put her on medication. The doctor said it was a bad case but felt that she would recover. We think that is what killed her. When my mother took in Molly , she was totally unsocialized. She was skiddish and had very little human contact. Noone could get near her. She did not know how to play with a ball or a dog toy was. They were completely foreign to her. She had never been around any other dogs. My mom has a lap dog.. a pomeranian. Well those two became the best of friends and where you saw one you saw the other. Molly learned alot from my mother's dog. She became more social and learned to play. She even ventured into the house every once in a while. We came to love her in the 8 months we had her. We spent alot of time working with her to help her overcome her fears. She had come along way.

She was truly happy. I believe that in the 8 months we had her, she was the happiest she had ever been and came to know what it was like to feel and be loved. So I feel good that she had that before she departed. On yesterday afternoon Molly was found in my parents back yard passed away. She must have died sometime during the night as when she was found, she was covered with flies. Or rather all her openings were where the flies gathered. Flies were in her ears, on her paws, flies filled her mouth and were crawling all around in it. A carpet of flies were underneath her tail in her anus. Death had taken over her beautiful body when I finally got to my parents house.

Mom was upset and crying. I was holding back tears. Poor Molly, she only had happiness for about 8 months. I just wish she had longer time to feel what it was like to be loved and doted on by an owner. My mom was so into taking the dogs to the groomer for baths and perfume and getting their nails polished. She dressed then in clothes and sweaters in the winter.

My father put Molly's body into a black garbage bag so that they could take her to the vet today... this morning. They had an autopsy done so that they can determine if it was the heartworms or if someone had poisoned her. I am pretty sure it was the heartworms. Mom is too. Mom is having Molly cremated and placed in an urn to keep on the mantel. She will continue to be with us.

I will sorely miss Molly! I know she is happy now in doggy heaven. I know she had a little heaven on earth with my parents and me before she passed away. I just wish Molly had more time to be happy.

Her tail is wagging so fast it is a blur!

So Sunday was a very odd one. One major bookend happened in the morning and another happened sunday afternoon. It was a very odd and sad sunday. I do not need another one like that for a long, long time!

Strange Ghost Video

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.


Ghost Girl Video

Check out the video. Pretty eerie. It looks real to me, but I am not sure. Waht do you think?

The Nazi Twins

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

They look so innocent to be so evil!

ABC NEWS

Young Singers Spread Racist Hate

Duo Considered the Olsen Twins of the White Nationalist Movement

Oct. 20, 2005 — - Thirteen-year-old twins Lamb and Lynx Gaede have one album out, another on the way, a music video, and lots of fans.

They may remind you of another famous pair of singers, the Olsen Twins, and the girls say they like that. But unlike the Olsens, who built a media empire on their fun-loving, squeaky-clean image, Lamb and Lynx are cultivating a much darker personna. They are white nationalists and use their talents to preach a message of hate.

Known as "Prussian Blue" -- a nod to their German heritage and bright blue eyes -- the girls from Bakersfield, Calif., have been performing songs about white nationalism before all-white crowds since they were nine.

"We're proud of being white, we want to keep being white," said Lynx. "We want our people to stay white ... we don't want to just be, you know, a big muddle. We just want to preserve our race."

Lynx and Lamb have been nurtured on racist beliefs since birth by their mother April. "They need to have the background to understand why certain things are happening," said April, a stay-at-home mom who no longer lives with the twins' father. "I'm going to give them, give them my opinion just like any, any parent would."

April home-schools the girls, teaching them her own unique perspective on everything from current to historical events. In addition, April's father surrounds the family with symbols of his beliefs -- specifically the Nazi swastika. It appears on his belt buckle, on the side of his pick-up truck and he's even registered it as his cattle brand with the Bureau of Livestock Identification.

"Because it's provocative," explains April of the cattle brand, "to him he thinks it's important as a symbol of freedom of speech that he can use it as his cattle brand."

Teaching Hate

Songs like "Sacrifice" -- a tribute to Nazi Rudolf Hess, Hitler's deputy Fuhrer -- clearly show the effect of the girls' upbringing. The lyrics praise Hess as a "man of peace who wouldn't give up."

"It really breaks my heart to see those two girls spewing out that kind of garbage," said Ted Shaw, civil rights advocate and president of the NAACP's Legal Defense Fund -- though Shaw points out that the girls aren't espousing their own opinions but ones they're being taught.

On that point, April Gaede and Ted Shaw apparently agree.

"Well, all children pretty much espouse their parents' attitudes," she said. "We're white nationalists and of course that's a part of our life and I'm going to share that part of my life with my children."

Since they began singing, the girls have become such a force in the white nationalist movement, that David Duke -- the former presidential candidate, one-time Ku-Klux-Klan grand wizard and outspoken white supremacist -- uses the twins to draw a crowd.

Prussian Blue supporter Erich Gliebe, operator of one of the nation's most notorious hate music labels, Resistance Records, hopes younger performers like Lynx and Lamb will help expand the base of the White Nationalist cause.

"Eleven and 12 years old," he said, "I think that's the perfect age to start grooming kids and instill in them a strong racial identity."

Gliebe, who targets young, mainstream white rockers at music festivals like this past summer's "Ozzfest," says he uses music to get his message out.

But with names like Blue-Eyed Devils and Angry Aryans, these tunes are far more extreme than the ones sung by Lamb and Lynx.

"We give them a CD, we give them something as simple as a stick, they can go to our Web site and see other music and download some of our music," said Gliebe. "To me, that's the best propaganda tool for our youth."

A Taste for Hate

Gliebe says he hopes that as younger racist listeners mature, so will their tastes for harder, angrier music like that of Shawn Sugg of Max Resist.

One of Sugg's songs is a fantasy piece about a possible future racial war that goes: "Let the cities burn, let the streets run red, if you ain't white you'll be dead."

"I'd like to compare it to gangsta rap," explained Sugg, "where they glorify, you know, shooting n****** and pimping whores."

Sugg shrugs off criticism that music like his should not be handed out to schoolyard children, arguing that "it's just music, it's not like you're handing out AK-47s."

Perhaps not, but Shaw says it's the ideas in the music that are dangerous.

"When you talk about people being dead if they're not white," said Shaw, "I don't think there is much question that that is hateful."

A Place to Call Home

Despite the success of Prussian Blue and bands like Max Resist within the White Nationalism movement, most Americans don't accept their racist message.

Like many children across the country, Lamb and Lynx decided to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina -- the white ones.

The girls' donations were handed out by a White Nationalist organization who also left a pamphlet promoting their group and beliefs -- some of the intended recipients were more than a little displeased.

After a day of trying, the supplies ended up with few takers, dumped at a local shop that sells Confederate memorabilia.

Last month, the girls were scheduled to perform at the local county fair in their hometown. But when some people in the community protested, Prussian Blue was removed from the line-up.

But even before that, April had decided that Bakersfield was not "white" enough, so she sold her home, and hopes that she and the girls can find an all-white community in the Pacific Northwest.