All Wistful and Melancholy!

Snapshots In My Time...Of My Time.....Hauntings.

Last night I was in the grocery store... just making a quick run in for frozen chicken tenders to go with the potatoes I had at home and from a distance I saw my old fiance who I was engaged to for seven years. We have had some contact in the past year. He claims to still have feelings for me and says that he is sorry that we did not work out. To me he seems stuck in the past and I keep telling him to come into the year 2010. 1977-1985 are long gone.

Well last December I saw a girl from high school who was a year ahead of me working at kinkos and we began talking about different people just trying to catch up. She mentions him and tells me that he is seeing her sister. Well I believe her because her sister is fast and loose and just has the look he would like. Well in all these months I never mention to him that I know this. The only thing I did about a month ago was ask him if he was seeing anyone because he keeps aksing me to go out with him and I always decline. The answer is no.. he is not seeing anyone. Liar!

Well I say nothing. Last night who is he in the store with? Her! The sister of my friend. I see them from afar and immediately go to the check out. I want to get out before they see me. Failure! They get to the other check out about 4 minutes after me but my person is so slow we are all side by side. I pretend to be engrossed in counting out my money. I never look up and as we are leaving the store who comes literally running over to me...the sister.

She and I have been friends and worked together for 3 years in the past so I have no beef with her. I know the type of person she is. My old fiance..she points out...you remember Peter. Yes and I wave and smile. So does he! Loser! I was tempted to call him because he calls me all the time. I did not. I will not. I will let that go. People are in your past for a reason. I must remember that because I thought that there maybe a future somewhere for us. Finding long lost love again! All last night I felt left of center and off and sad and wistful and alone. I have no one really right now and seems like everyone I know has someone!

They Scatter Like Roaches

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

Let a difficult time come or be in need of help. That is when you really see what people are made of. I was mentioning to a friend of mine that I was really wanting to move out into my own place again. Mom has recovered and is pretty much over the greiving of my father who died in 1996. I was actually talking to Mr. You are blowing your chance. Just talk. He called wanting to go out on a date. I told him that now was not the time. I was thinking about change and transitions and that I had been looking at places to live.

I mentioned that the price of places to rent was close to mortgage payments where I am and that I needed a big down payment to move out. All of a sudden he had to go....very quickly. I was not asking him for anything. Had not really thought about it. I was just telling him my situation. He then said, "well, I have to go. You let me know how that turns out." I told him I would. Then at the very last second, he said that if I needed any help financially to let him know. That was thrown in and of course he did not mean it. I told him I would and then he hungup.

Well. What a way to treat your future wife! NOT! See what I mean? They scatter like roaches if they think you might be in need. I am in need. I was not going to ask because I would feel indebted and might feel pressured to go out with him if he did in some way help me. Good thing I am seeing this now. I had been considering maybe..maybe...maybe going out with him in the future. Not anymore. Funny thing is, I thing he realizes how he came across. He has been calling me nonstop today and leaving messages that he is so worried about me. I have not answered a single one of his calls. I don't plan to. Maybe I will talk to him in a week or so or three when I decide exactly what I want to do. It sure will not involve him.

They scatter like roaches. Yep...he has blown his chance.

You Are Blowing Your Chance...

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

You are blowing your chance. Chance at what? Chance to be the next Mrs. Kennedy. I have a friend and his last name is Kennedy. I have not literally seen him in 17 years. We have kept in touch by phone for the last 17 years. We dated for about a year about 18 years ago. Well, he is now getting a divorce from his wife and it will be final in September of this year. He has been making motions that he wants to see me. I simply can't seem to go there. I was not very responsive to his many requests to go to dinner or meet him. We live far away from each other. He had the nerve to text me...."you are blowing your chance."

Can we say livid. How presumptuous, that I would just jump at the chance to be his next wife. He is a catch. He has a good job, lots of money, several homes, cars-nice ones. When we were dating 18 years ago, he was separated from his wife then and he then got back with her. So it ended. At that time I was too sorry that I did not know him first. He was my dream husband. But it was only a dream. I think somehow he knew that I really thought a great deal of him then. I wonder if he still thinks that. I always have thought a great deal about him off and on throughout the years. Now that text...."you are blowing your chance." That has unnerved me. I think he has just blown his chance!