February 23, 2005

Advice Mom Never Gave Us


Snapshots In My Time, Of My Time.....Hauntings.

DON'T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

MEN When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

HOME decorators. Use a roller in each hand and halve your painting time.

HOMEOWNERS Don't hesitate to tell the rest of us how much your house has appreciated in value since you bought it. The more frequently you give us updates, the greater will be our delight at your good fortune and our
admiration and respect for your financial prescience.

WHITE wine splashed onto a red wine stain will clean it up quickly. Similarly, fat splashes on clothes can be easily removed by rubbing salad onto the affected area.

ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness.

DRIVERS. If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

2 comments:

  1. The entry about the broken down car brought back memories of a story I heard a few years ago. The guys car quits at the busiest time of the day and the car behind him decides that he would sit there and lay on the horn. The guy in the broken down car gets out, walks to the car behind him and asked if he wanted to fix his car while HE lays on the horn. Maybe you had to be there lol...

    A Touch of Style ;)

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