March 13, 2005

The Puppies

Snapshots In My Time, Of My Time.....Hauntings.
4th grade

We had a dog. I cannot recall what type. I think this one was a mutt. She had puppies and soon we had a litte of 8 puppies all very cute. My brother and I wanted to keep the puppies. We named them all. They had names like Cinnamon, Little Bit, Mustard, Lo and Shang. We kept the puppies until they got old enough to eat. We tried to give them to neighbors to keep them close but noone wanted them. They were just litter of cute mutts.

I loved them. That was the problem. I loved them. If I had not then maybe we could have kept them. That was the pattern. If I loved a pet, my mother got rid of it. If anyone else showed an interest, we could keep it. For me it happened that I loved all the pets. They were the only things that ever loved me back. So natually they all went away eventually.

Those puppies grew and grew and my mother began to threaten to get rid of them. I held her off as long as I could. Those puppies loved to play, especially Little bit. He was the runt of the litter. He was the cutest. They loved to eat also. My mother had planted a few vegetables in the back yard. She planted tomatoes, bell pepper and some onions. The puppies ate everything right off the vine. They ate all the puppy food we gave them but they ate all the vegetables. Little Bit would come to me with bell pepper breath. And later it would be onion breathe.

My mother shooed them away all the time but it would not help. They kept on eating the vegetables...bell peppers in particular. One day my mother said that they all had to go to. I began to cry of course. It did no good. My mother said that they would be taken to the SPCA and they would find good homes for them. I was crushed but was lifted up by the fact that they would be adopted. They were all so cute. My mother was always so hell bent on hurting me she failed to realize that I was not the only one who loved those puppies. My brother did also.

She sent me with my father to take the puppies to the SPCA. We loaded them all up in boxes and off we went. At the time my brother was out in the neighborhood playing with his friends so he had no idea the puppies had gone away. My father and I got to the SPCA and left the puppies with a man who did not seem very happy to see all the puppies. He took them and said he would take care of them. We left and we came back home puppy-less. I went to my room to be alone. I was devastated.

My brother came home riding into the back yard on his bike. I watched him from my bedroom window. He looked around for the puppies. He must have come in and asked where the puppies were. My mother must have told him and off he road on his bike, mad and very upset. Little did she realize I was not the only one she was hurting. My brother has always been the favorite one. No matter what. My mother came to my room and told me to go with my father to go get the puppies.

We were going to keep them. I was hurt by the fact that just because my brother was upset that we could now keep the puppies. I wanted the puppies so off I went with my father to pick the puppies up. We arrived and I approached the man we gave the puppies to. I told him we had come back to get the puppies. There was joy in my voice and I said that to him with a smile. He looked annoyed. He then told my father that we could not have the puppies because they had been put to sleep. We lived just a few blocks away from the shelter and they had been there for all of about 45 minutes when we had returned for them.

They were gone. The murdered my puppies as soon as they arrived. I was in disbelief and asked again about the puppies. He again said they had been put to sleep. I asked him about finding homes for dogs and why that was not done. He said they were mutts and noone would want them so they were out to sleep immediately.

We went home and told my mother. She was only upset that my brother was upset. It all just reaffirmed that I was an invisible child. Noone could see me but me.


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