Inevitability

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

The Theory: "Everything proceeds to an unchangeable inevitable pattern. When you know enough about any situation its future is entirely predictable" or "All events are predictable, therefore inevitable and all events are inevitable, therefore predictable".

Inevitability. It haunts me. It is all around me. It washes over me now like waves from the black night sea. I am slowly becoming the parent to my parents. They are becoming the children. I am saddened by their fralities that were all so invisible before. They are glaring and apparent now. It makes me sad.

The favorite ones of childhood are not living up to the pedastles that they were placed on. It is the black sheep who are depended upon. The favorites do not have time for aging parents. The favorites who were graced and given the parents money have turned their backs. They have taken the money and run. Run so fast and so far they will not even call on the phone. They phones only ring on Jupiter.

The black sheep did not get any money and now the money is gone. Even if anyone wanted to now share funds with the black sheep, there are no funds left to give. The black sheep do not want the dependacy. The black sheep do not want any money. The black sheep hate this inevitability. The black sheep feel trapped.

Trapped due to locality. Trapped due to accesibility. Trapped due to inevitability.

Inevitability. With the favorites taking flight to distant universes, it is inevitable that this should cause great anguish and gnashing of teeth by those who put them on the pedastles. This should be a source of satisfaction for the blacksheep...to see the favorites bite the hand that feeds them. To see those hands tremble with fear and dissapointment. It caused glee and great smugness for awhile. What goes around really does come back around. It was good to see others get a kick in the butt. God knows they deserved it and much more.

Glee was short lived thought. Glee was driven away by calls for assistance. Resentment set in. Why me? Why me? Call the favorites and keep calling them. They are the ones you really want anyway. But they won't come, wont' call, won't answer a letter, won't be bothered. Why call me?

Blood ties do not make you family. It simply makes you related. I have family who do not have the same blood as I flowing in their veins. Deperation will make you think that blood ties make you obligated. The favorites certainly do not think that. If so, there would not be calls to me to help with everything now.

Inevitability. I wonder if the will, will be changed to include me now. Many years ago I was told that nothing would ever come my way and my name was on nothing. As the black sheep I accepted that. I did nothing except be born to become the black sheep. Fine. I have made my own way in life. And in many ways did better that the favorites. That did not matter though. The favorites could be ditch diggers and that would be better than a person with a masters or phd. Odd how that works. Odd how that IS the reality. The black sheep have done so much more in life than the favorites.

Inevitability. It haunts me. Most likely it will not change and I will be the one at the reading whose name is not called. I tell myself I am steeled for that, yet I cannot imagine me sitting through that with the others. I might just have to be busy that day and speak to the lawyers later. I can at least spare myself that pain. It is inevitable that even in death you will still be stabbing sharp pieces of broken glass through my heart and eyes and hands.

Help me to make it through this period of inevitability. It is not fair. Being a black sheep for what seems like 50 plus years and now all of a sudden called upon to do like a favorite, without the grace and good wishes of the favorites? It is not fair. Life is not fair.

It is inevitable. That's me. Haunted by inevitability.

Laila's Journey Through Life: A Review

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

As part of a blogshare contest in the hopes of securing a free premium upgrade, my mission was to review Laila's blog and blog about it. You know when you just begin to read about a blog you have never really visited before, it is hard to just jump in and think you know what is going on. You really have to browse thru the archives to get a good feel or get some incite into the person who owns the blog.

So who is Laila? Laila is a single mother of three grown children. She has 2 boys and a girl. She lives in the phillipines. She had a "life extending event" in 2000 where she almost died twice. She can give you ALL the details on this page, but in a nutshell, her marriage to a wonderful man of 10 years came to an end and she became depressed, addicted to pills and hit rock bottom. Laila asked for a miracle from God and she got it. In her darkest hour she got herself together, got off the pills, got back with her husband and then realized she needed a life without him. (Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.) She began a new life as a single parent.

I really can relate to her story as I have been thru many a challenge myself having survived abusive parents. When I look back I do not know how I made it. Like Laila, it was not my time to go either.

Laila's blog outlines her travels, her journey with her family, both the ups and the downs. She also outlines some of her personal stugggles as well. I saw where there was a time when she was trying to get a job, but could not find one. She also indicates that she has been struggling with weight as well. Laila does also blog about world events and events that are happening in her country. Her lastest family concern is with her daughter deciding to enter the work world and not to continue with her studies. Through it all I see her mention her faith and belief in God. From what I can tell, her faith and belief helps her every day and in every way.

Laila's blog is quite delicate in design. The color, the florals and the butterflies seem to fit the journey she has given herself to find the " missing pieces that will soon complete her existence." It is an interesting blog.

Now as for blogshares, Laila is a premuim player with elite status I do believe...one of those players who know the game inside and out. Her status in the game says it all. She is the richest player in the game. She soon will be a Quadrillionaire! These are her current stats. Now they are subject to change just seconds from now as she could be buying and selling and raiding blogs even as we speak, changing her net worth. Here is where Laila is as of my post at 7:41pm my time.

• rank: number 1 player-richest
• cash balance: B$58,008,287,746,773.28
• total portfolio: B$651,532,325.47 in 892 blogs
• ideas: B$932,224,210,691,507.25 (56763280 in 1951 industries)
• total net worth: B$990,233,149,970,606.00

I have just discovered how to raid a blog. In the last 2 weeks, I just read what it meant and how to do it. I just wish I had read that help page about 6 months ago. I would be richer without those transaction fees. I will soon try to do a hostile take over and see what the hype and the use of double artifacts are all about. I am fairly still a newby...trying to see what all those things on blogshares are and how they work. I have not had a lot of time in the past do much else except buy stock. My biggest thing to date has just been buying shares in blogs. So, I am aspiring to be like Laila. I just want to learn to wheel and deal those artifacts, ideas and bonds like a pro.

In light of that, I am submitting this entry in hopes of winning a premium membership upgrade. I will be able to do more and hopefully increase my skill in the game.

Happy Early Birthday Laila!