January 18, 2007

Future Plans

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

Well, if you have looked at my space here in the last month, you already know that my father passed away on December 22 from a heart attack at the age of 75. It has made me think that I am not prepared at all for my own family. I have been helping my mother with all of my father's affairs. The bank accounts, the probate court, the will and anything else that comes up. My parents were prepared. They have everything in order. My mother bought our family grave sites when she was in her 20's. She bought 4 four her and my father, me and my brother. She even had the headstone all bought for her and my father with the names and dates already engraved. The only thing missing was the final date.

When we went to the gravesite for the first time last sunday, it was a shock to see my mother's name already engraved with her birth year on it. She bought a double headstone. She has said that she and her aunt had a plan that if something happened, the other sister would take the kids.

I have nothing in place. No plan with my brother to take the kids if something happened. No will as of yet. No casket bought or prepaid for. My father's death has made me ralize that I need to get my affairs in order. I have minors that need to be provided for. I have seen kits in the office supply stores for do-it-yourself wills, but I have hesitated on that. I felt that I did not have enough information with those kits.

With www.itsmylife.com, this site had a wealth of information that explains everything and really gives guideance. There is even a section that gives information about our beloved pets. You know, I guess I have been like a lot of others.. nothing will happen so let's just put planning for the kids in the event of my leaving this earth on the back burner. I have thought of it throught the years, but never did anything. Some of that has been fear. Fear that if I sit down and complete that peperwork, it makes my own mortality real. It has been something I do not want to face. I have lots of insurance, but nothing that really lays out a plan for my kids.

After reading a lot of the material on the site, I do realize that I do not want to leave them in total chaos with no direction. That is when evil family members come out with the worst behavior. People who want to get something (money) come crawling out of the woodworks. I have seen it happen, first hand with some of my cousins and great aunts. Total choas, no will, fights over heirs property that can't get resolved and generations later people are still fighting over heirs property.

There are some time savers. Once you put in the family names, you click on "my list," and the forms are populated with the names that you want. That makes it easy. You even had the capability to add personal touches that will go a long way to authenticate the documents are valid. Within minutes, you can have forms completed that can them be sealed away in a safety deposit box or put away for safe keeping. You can even fill out a living will. I do think that is very important today. I know that I do not want to be kept alive on tubes in the event of a traumatic accident. Just let me go.

Once I get my mother over this major hurtle and me too...the death of my father has been totally devastating...I will have to get my own affairs in order. It is the right thing to do. I do not want to leave my family with no plan. Not leaving a plan is almost like not caring about them. It prevents confusion, family fights and hostility.

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