January 19, 2007

Hurdles

I jumped a hurdle today.  It was a big one.  The only thing is that once you loose a parent of have a love one die, you really have the chance to put things into perspective.  You realize what is important and what is not.  It is not numbers or contacts or work or things.  It is your family.  Everything else is secondary.  That made all the difference.  What ever happens, will happen and some things are out of your control.  You can only make an accounting for what has happened and move on.  When one door closes another opens with an opportunity to do things differently and for change.  I do see adversity as a way to move to a different level.  Up!  You have to learn from those experiences and them do not repeat the same mistakes. 

That is what I learned today.  The future is a way to learn and make changes.  Change is good.  Adversity is good.  We do not build character from calmness and mundane things.  Character building stems directly from the bad things in our lives.  It is what sets us apart.  It is what defines us.  It is what makes us strong.  It is what can be a great motivator.  I just hope that from all the adversity I have faced that one day I will truly understand why I have been blessed with so much of it.  Lord knows I do not want it.  I try to stay under everyones radar.  Maybe that is my problem.  The adversity is to make me stand out and it seems that the more I try to stay under, the more visible I am.  How can being so invisible make me so visible?  That troubles me.

Maybe I should be out there just looking for trouble and just maybe it would leave me alone?!  What I realized is that you do not have to do anything to anyone.  Even when you think that you are on an even keel, people are just watching and waiting to stir up trouble.  No matter that others may be doing all sorts of wrong things, if people see you as their target, it is you they will be zooming in on.  I wonder why I am the focus.  I wonder.

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