February 03, 2007

Haunts in Favorite Restaurants

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

For the first time since my father died in December, my mother and I went to have lunch today at his favorite restaurant. He loved to eat at Ryan's. He loved plain home cooking. When my mother suggested we go, I immediately began to well up with tears. I did not think I could go there. We pulled into the lot and I got out of the car. Each of my footsteps was filled with dread and I began to will myself not to cry. We got in line and I looked far off into the distance trying to hold back tears. I was also trying to not let mey mother see how upset I was. If she had said one word I would have had a complete and total meltdown right on the spot. I kept telling myself I could cry later. I held it in.

When she went to the salad bar, I fought hard to keep back tears. My entire meal I could only think about my father. The first thing I got was my fathers favorite snack to eat there. Those pork rinds. Now they are nothing but fat and salt and I normally do not eat them. Today I did as a tribute to my father. It was a sad, sad meal and I do not know if I would feel any better the next time I ate there. Mom looked a little sad herself. I am still really upset now and it is many hours later. Funny how a place can bring back so many memories. Memories you do not even think about until people are gone.

Ryan's? I will eat there again. I just do not think it will be anytime soon. If anyone suggest we go there again I think I will bow out and not go. I think I will let some months past before going there again.


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