Squeakfart!

Snapshots In My Time...
Of My Time.....Hauntings.

I work in an office with someone who has a lot of bodily noises. I mean she is a woman and she has to be just about the grossest person to be around. I used to think I had a strong stomach. Now I am not so sure. All throughout a normal day when she is not sick the noises are incredible. I sit about 1 door down from her office and it is just amazing all the odd noises her body makes. She is in a very small office that she shares with another girl. I feel so sorry for the other girl.

From my desk, all day long, I can hear burping, belching, hiccuping and sneezing. How loud? Sometimes the burps are off the scale as far as decibels. Then I can hear farting and next, I hear the other girl running out of the office to take a break. If she eats in the office, there is an odd, loud clicking or popping of her tongue as she eats. WTF? I have never heard or seen anyone make that noise as they eat with their tongue. It sounds like she is popping gum, yet she has no gum in her mouth. I can't eat around her. Makes me want to vomit. Literally.

God help us all if she is sick. Imagine all that above each day and on top of it the following. If she has a cold..nasal....well she is snuffling up mucus all day. Hawking up mucus all day and coughing. Just writing about it is making my stomach turn. She does not want to blow her nose so the mucus is constant. I tell her to blow it out. Not keep it in. When she is sick her office mate spends as much time away from the office as possible. I cannot blame her. It is disgusting.

The other thing is that she does not seem to care. I have reached the point where I tell her all her bodily noises are offensive to all. It does not phase her one bit. She relishes in it....many times saying what needs to come out...fart, burp..has to come out. So we are stuck with "Squeakfart." Even worse....think about it. She is most likely being on her best behavior in the office. Imagine her relaxed at home.