Waiting

These days I seem to spend most of my time waiting. Waiting and being a human taxi for my child. Since I am not working that has become my job. She is just now learning how to drive and is not 100% mobile yet, so the timing seems right for me to be her taxi.

Her time has come. She has begun college and I am waiting. Waiting for her to fly the coop. I know that with her it will not be sudden. She still needs me and I feel needed. I do try to push her out into the world with a little encouragement. She does not seem eager to move away too fast. That is good for me as a mom. I know it is hard when your little ones fly the coop. I still have a little time. Time to enjoy her.

She has begun just now to go out on the weekends with friends. I encourage it because she has been so very sheltered. She does need the exposure. So I ask her most Thursday what her weekend plans are. Mostly so far she has none. When she does on those few occasions, I stop whatever I may have had planned to make myself available to drive her to or pick her up from wherever it is she wants to go with her friends. It has been about 50/50 they will pick her up. It all depends on the location.

When I look back my mother did not do that for me. It was all up to my friends. I had no car so it was my friends who took me everywhere and I paid them gas. If they did not come for me I had no way to go anywhere.

So I am waiting. I know that with the new independence I am giving her, she will eventually internalize it and it will eventually become her own. Then she will be her own woman. That gives me time. Time to adjust so when she flies the coop we will both be ready. I am waiting.

Waiting on time and expose.

Time and exposure to take my child away.